Serenity

Today is a day deeply steeped in faith.   For what purpose, you might ask? Life. I’m in faith for the moments and the hours of not only my life, but of the people I love, the friends that grace me with their acceptance, the people that are hurting and need someone, somewhere to stand in the gap ~ in faith for us all.  I am standing in faith for us all, to accept what we aren’t able to change.

Courage and wisdom?  So many people charged with changing what can be in this world.

I pray courage and wisdom for the pastors who are hurting for…..

The leaders who are desperate.

The lost who are weeping;

The trafficked who are dying;

The children who are being abused;

The people who are vacant and unhappy;

For everyone reaching toward an invisible, present God, who so not know the name…..

Listening to some great music,  feeling the deep sense of peace that comes with the candles and incense from this mornings prayer time.  I have accepted my hardship as a pathway for peace, and am at peace with life. There are a million prayers floating through the air in my house, the exotic smell of spice and flower.  I’m in my office now, yellow curtains open, watching the green leaves waggle in the wind.  The sky is still overcast and grey; I had coffee here at home with my good friend Mark who stopped in, and he assures me that by this evening, there will be clear skies.  Funny, how crystal clear the air is after the rain.  Life is like that, with the clearest moments coming after the storms.

I love the Serenity Prayer.  I love the faith that it speaks of, the trust that even when you are not sure, God makes a way.  That in this life there are trials, and maybe, just maybe faith will hold us in good stead and walk us through those times of lack, indecision, pain.

Faith.  What is your faith?

Is your faith in waiting?

Is your faith in wondering?

Is your faith waning?

To me, faith is the ability to live life out loud, to be all that you can, even in the face of what most people would call “impossible.” Posh on impossible.  Impossible is simply something that I haven’t accomplished yet, and then it’s a memory.  Impossible? Only to love more, give more or be more than God.  That’s impossible.

All three are actions, aren’t they?  To love, to give, to be?  I thought to myself that the concept of faith is more of a verb than it is a noun or adjective; it’s not about taking a passive action in the world, but engaging with joy in a whole new way.

Doing it afraid.

Doing it for real.

Holding nothing back to elementally rise up inside and say, this is who I am.

I’m not the same creature I once was.

I can’t make the same choices,

I can’t make the same noises…

I am me, wholly undone, no longer water worthy on my own.

I am a creature recreated in grace and faith, forgiven and forgiving, loved and loving, whole and broken.

I won’t back away from the truth of what I am.

I will love, always love, only love….

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