All In

Greetings, and happy Friday for this side of the planet.  The rest of you…happy Saturday a.m. 🙂  For the music for this post: All In by Lifehouse Mood: Alive….very alive.  The YouTube ID of is invalid.

If the magic of the internet works properly, there is a big video screen above; if not, just a high light link. I wish that I could get the YouTube client to actually post the music that I’m listening to in the window for you, but so far the techie team has been having real fits with said link.  At any rate, to the day at hand.

I’ve set several new goals for the weekend, some that include the very last time I will be using the word “homework” for myself in a well deserved hiatus.  It’s been one of those weeks where you have to practice what you preach in more ways than one ~ and on this day, I have lived and worked in active forgiveness as a follower of the Way.  I have found in my time of meditation that our friends at the Hindu temple have a great idea; given the OT use of incense in the sanctuary of YHWH, the God of the Christian faith and the Hebrew faith, I have no problem using incense as a prayer aid for my time with God to just come to center and be.  I really focused on that thought this a.m. and will do so again in the morning.  Time for sheer gratitude and willingness to be on the healthy track.


I have this most excellent best friend in the world.  Technically, there are two; my soul sister D and my husband, Brian.  D and I are in the grief quagmire together, but making progress.  Brian simply amazes me.  After more than a decade of being as close as two can be, we’re still laughing.  I couldn’t sleep last night and was downstairs for a while, reflecting on the week.  One short trip to IU North and I am back on my feet…plus an entire day of sleep.  Somewhere in there, I found my ability to let go of the stress of it all again, to fall hard in love with life and live all out.

You might remember that we went to Tennessee not to long ago, where they have some of the more amusing rides in the world including a great hotel and slightly lame zip line course.  But there was jewelry and shopping, so hey, what is a girl to do but enjoy ribs and have a lot of laughs?  So yesterday we were talking about what to do for graduation when Tennessee came up…the West Virginia zip line with it’s mile long 200 ft elevation course calls to me.  Alison, Alison, come be all in.  Feel ALIVE! But you know what I really want? I really want is a whole day of peace, laughter and fun without any drama.  Maybe a canoe picnic lunch on Brookville, or a raft trip on the river after all this rain. Maybe a trip to my beloved Lake Lure to sit on the shore and plot buying the dream house.  I’d take building the garden out back and riding bikes with the girl as not to have to be in the car.  Either way, I won’t be doing it alone becasue there is in my life this incredible, truthful, stable, honest and truly decent person that cares for me when I least deserve it.  All in.  I can close my eyes and imagine the places that we’re going, the laughter, the moments of real joy. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the fact that we are together in our space, no defenses, whole and real.  To be loved in friendship, respect and honor by a person like Brian….it’s am amazing blessing.  I’m just saying…outside of horrible taste in women (a joke about me!), he’s tops.

Being all in. That is my thought for today after rereading “Friendship at the Margins” for my final book of the SOT.  I had approached the book with an open mind, but the way that the author approaches the reality of some of the “least of these” is just a story of hope so deep that it resonates with God inside you.  Wow, to be that radical, that accountable and that willing to connect in our own lives.  It was funny that one of the authors said people who do well in long term ministry are those with the hearts of joy and wonder, not the cynical people that are more apt to say “people suck.”  They don’t, really.  People are largely unaware…so what does it take for each of us to wake up, to be “all in?”  When do we get so turned on to helping other people that we wind up helping ourselves in the overt joy?

My husband is the most relaxing person that I know.  He’s “wound tighter than a top” today, mainly because it’s been a so-so health week and he’s had to listen to me talk through my own trials.   So what does he want to do now?  Open cockpit test run in a plane…my husband is  a long term private pilot.  He’d had an inactive license for a few years when we met due to his cancer; he was terrified to go and try again.  Yep, after a bit of encouragement, he’s back in the friendly skies doing his thing that he loves almost as much as golf.   That’s the thing about having someone who loves you enough to see your soul in your eyes and not just back off when you give your “reasons” for letting go of a dream.  I don’t particularly dream of flying, unless it’s first class to Bora Bora or Italy.  Heights and me, not so good….so he promised only a loop or two in this open cockpit scary thing.  Talk about all in.  Like is never dull or boring when we’re off doing what we do best…and it’s lots of fun when life isn’t as tough as it has been for the past year.

As for me, I am still happy climbing mountains and being one with the trees.  I can’t say that I’m happy with how some of my life worked out this week, but inside my heart I know it is for the best.  May is just a few days away now, the beginning, the end and the middle all converging into one place and time as we step out of this moment and into the next….wonder, anticipation, excitement, even a little apprehension.

The hardest part of ending is starting again.

It is also the most fun.

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