Woman to Woman: Making Moments that Matter

Alison and Brian at the fireplace entrance to the historic Kettle Inn.

Sensuality is one of the most misunderstood concepts in American culture.  What images does it evoke within you when I say “a sensual experience?”  There are moments that matter within your daily life when sensuality abounds…that feeling that you get when you are able to connect with the internal and external senses.  It’s the moment in your day when you’re totally connected with your love, with your life, with your faith.  I can describe this sensual, faith filled day that I’ve had, intertwined with the most romantic ending…and I pray that you have your own experiences of feeling and grace within your coming weeks.


Sensuality is built first from your internal sense of self and knowing, feeling the energy and grace that you’re built with as a human being.  It’s the connection between the tips of your fingers coming to life and the feeling of the surface beneath your toes, the wind on the skin of your arms, the feeling of freedom in your chest as you breath in deeply, allow yourself to relax each muscle…you get the picture.


Sensuality is more complex than basic sexuality because it simmers and grows, fuels the depths of your knowing and permeates out to all of you.  Sexuality can be cheap and base: sensuality is precious, valued, deeply honorable.  Sensuality never gives itself as cheap instead knowing intuitively that you are worth more than precious stones and money…you are unique, precious and worthwhile.  Sensuality can give away passion, can seduce, can promise forever and mean it from a soul level.  Want to be a woman of depth?  Know your sensual self.  It is when we do not know ourselves that we’re willing to act like men and bankrupt our own feminine power or energy ~ instead, become aware of who you are, who you were made to be and fulfill your own place in the world.

The Garden at the Kopper Kettle Inn on an evening walk.


Today was a mixture of textures, tastes and moments.  I love Egyptian cotton sheets, and have to profess to owning 1200 thread count amazing sheets on which I wake most mornings of my life.  They’re soft and familiar, scented with sandalwood and lavender.  I’m pretty nuts about loving freshly washed linens…so I surprise my beloved with a freshly made, freshly washed bed pretty often in the week.  Waking up, the room is clothed in dim light, thanks to hand made curtains that came from my friend’s house in India.  She had ten foot windows like I do…so it’s always twilight in my room, no matter how bright the sun or cold the day.  This morning I spent time connecting with my daughter and husband, singing, holding hands, laughing with the “tickle monster” lurking around her.  Sensual?  Yes, it was all textures and moments of feeling connecting with being.  Again, sensual is so much more than sexy, it’s often going to include it.  Sexy doesn’t have to rely on the tawdry (although it definitely has elements of that at times for fun!)…it has it’s own elements of grace as well.


The amazing day that was became an amazing night to be in love with my hubster.  We celebrated April 2 for the first time on our own ~ it’s a tough day to remember, the one in which our youngest daughter had open heart surgery in her third day of life.  The past seven years have been both sweet and tough for all of us,  but for Brian and I, there were several years when sensuality wasn’t our priority.  It’s been deliberately recovered over the past year, one step at a time.  I can tell you that there in this wonderful restaurant my husband surprised me with, there was texture to every surface, every table.  It’s artistic, it’s beautiful….ancient and modern, full of candlelight and and flowers.  The Inn is well over a hundred years old…..surrounded by cobblestone gardens and fountains, private, sensual.

Secluded table for two.

I think that sensual is so well described in the decor that the restaurant embodies….tiny little mirrors suspended from fronds of flowers, garlands of lavender and dogwood that circle the open ceiling.  Candles flicker everywhere.

On separate levels, there are open seating areas with a grand piano, antique china, beautiful blue water glasses and mismatched coffee cups in wonderful saucers.  Then comes the meal.  Imagine starting with hand cut salad and fresh veggies, blue cheese crumbles.    Moscato Austi in fluted glasses, opened table-side…wow.  It wasn’t fancy as much as textures, senses…just beautiful.

The steaks can be cut with a butter knife, if you need one at all.  My filet wasn’t just perfect…it was juicy, succulent…amazing.  To say that dinner was a sensual feast would be an understatement.  It was stimulating conversation, laughter, tender moments of new life and memories.  He is taking me to a Reds game to celebrate the season opening.  From the candlelight of the evening to the roar of opening weekend, it’s all about the sounds, the senses, the beauty of life lived out loud.  Do you know that we can do the same things at home?  Whether it’s a moment in front of the fireplace, or cuddling for family movie night….we live these moments that matter because we almost lost everything that mattered over the years.

The bunnies are singing on the grand piano.

Woman to woman, make the moments of your life matter by actually living them.  Brian is my best friend, and has been for more than a decade plus now….and what I have learned in that time is more precious to me than you can imagine.  I learned that the love and laughter we share is deeply embedded in my own sensual nature.  It’s because he believes so deeply in me that I am able to fly to heights untold ~ he encourages the faith that fuels my fire for life.  It hasn’t always been that way  but always had the potential to be.  It’s in knowing that there is possibility and potential that you’ll grow in ways you don’t imagine.  Don’t write off the possibility that surrounds you.  Encourage people to love,  to live, to grow.  It was Brian that picked me back up when I fell to earth shattered…and Brian that sits beside me now, still the most truthful and decent person I know.

Moments that matter begin with you, loving yourself, knowing your nature, being all that you are in truth and grace.  I pray for peace, love and light in your life.

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