From the moment that I wake in the morning, which is more often than not an unanticipated 3 a.m. “I can’t sleep” to the final seconds of drowsing off to sleep, my life is one of speed, energy and efficiency. The speed comes naturally – I am one intense girl. You know the American paradigm of working women: I have a young child, four older kids out of the house, a husband, a first novel coming out with the sequel plodding along, plus a whole slew of social and graduate school responsibilities that compete for my time, attention and brain.
Intensity is my key word.
Add to that a love of coffee and you have a person that will hit life full tilt.
Still, there are days when my goals and dreams seem to exceed me ability to stay the course. In these moments, it is the efficiency that saves me from a life of chaos. When chaos strikes I remind myself to come back to center, avoid the desire to hurricane and be grateful for the moment I am in. It is the power of living in the now. These are my basis points for how I deal with the world tilting on it’s axis and becoming overwhelmed.
- The simple truth is that now is all you have. Yesterday and all of it’s many problems is behind you. Now, that doesn’t change the consequences of your actions yesterday. Those may very well change the trajectory of today. Even tomorrow is a question to each of us. The concept that you will come and go from how or work each day could be interrupted by one of the millions of car accidents or untimely deaths that occur in the US each year. Think about this moment in the space of your day and ask yourself – did you appreciate it, live it to the fullest? Are you honest with yourself about your presence in the now?
- Consider life, love and possibility. Do you take time to connect to the universe around you? What thoughts or feelings can you consider when you simply blank out your mind and allow yourself total internal quiet? I have been focusing in mediation on being fully present in the room where I sit, considering the universe around me. Schedule time to come into prayer or meditation, whatever your faith system supports.
- Divest yourself of narcissism based relationships. Almost everyone has one in their life. The drama queen, someone who is intelligent and passionate, vocal and dynamic, given to being charming yet highly self focused, demanding and consuming. The narcissist will ultimately seek to under gird their public position and profile at any cost – including using your presence or absence to feed the hollow parts of their soul that consume energy. A narcissist is simply self focused, even when they say “I love you.”. They are truthful in part but rarely in whole with any person. They will often place themselves in high profile, social positions that garner respect. They seek constant approval and fantasize about their own sense of importance. This person will ultimately tap into and drain your personal energy in order to maintain equilibrium in their own world, even if that equilibrium is a form of chaos or drama. The narcissist will not allow the world to function in a calm, peaceful glow. Attention seeking behaviors are the key to your understanding that a narcissist will nearly always bring turmoil into your life.
Once you’ve become focused on the now, being fully present in the moment where you live, you will inevitably be able to achieve a higher level of peace as you are not pushed into decisions or “trapped” in circumstances. The ability to detach from the world around you and come to a place of peace will also allow you to come into sync with your inner feelings. Those feelings form the basis of the inner mind, and are often in conflict with life choices.
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