On any given day you have the opportunity to be that person you love to hang out with in life – the person that reflects your own best qualities, the one that lights up the room they walk into and makes people want to smile. How do you impact people this way? Here are five great tips to try, starting today. Cost in dollars? Nada. Investment in self? Priceless.
- Know who you are. Gaining yourself worth from other people is always a sticky wicket. Begin your day with the most important five minutes you’ll spend all day – on yourself. Smile into your own eyes; compliment yourself on the outfit, hairstyle, feature or asset that comes to mind. Psych yourself out for the coming day with affirmations about who you are and where you’re going. My “for instance” comes from a vacation day here in Atlantic Beach, Florida. I walked out to the coming sunrise with Brian, but before that special moment, I imagined that beautiful pink sun cresting over the ocean, the sound of the waves, and the warmth of his hand in mine. I smiled at my own participation and said “You’re a great wife. You’re thoughtful; you are all in making your family comfortable and happy. You’re an amazing lady.” Maybe saying those words to yourself makes you feel arrogant or self conscious. Consider, though, that I invest time in making them true – I am a great wife. I hear it from my husband all the time, and it affirms my own self esteem. What thought will pump up the volume on your positive vibe today? People love to come to our home and be pampered because that is what I love to do – and it begins with pampering my family, pampering myself. Self affirmation gives me the confidence to cook amazing meals, the energy to keep a beautiful home, and the will to invest time into my own health and beauty without feeling vain.
- Pay It Forward. You’ve heard the sports idea “be the ball.” Same idea, different genre. Imagine that positive white energy flows through you and all around you. Assume the best about everyone that you meet. Smile and let that white light shine out into the world. Meet people’s eyes. Speak a greeting. Be cheerful; not just with people but with yourself. In the car? Be aware of the people around you – I mean take a good look. How many pleasant faces do you see? Do people smile at you? Are you reflecting your own energy and positive vibe with your face? Really consider “paying it forward” or being the blessing before anyone ever expects you too. Bring that co worker coffee, call the friend that might need a ride, drop flowers or buy an unexpected lunch for the overworked and underpaid girl/boy in your office that really puts their all into the job.
- Treat People With Dignity. One thing to keep in mind: treat people like human beings. If you’re going to radiate energy and confidence, people will naturally be attracted to you. In my experience, my brand of humor and friendship can be mistaken for “interest.” It doesn’t matter that I wax poetic about how much I love my husband, or that the loss of my friend last year left me for dead in the “actually get close to me” department. Still, when I am around a group of colleagues, I have to remember that the person I see as a fellow soldier in life probably sees me as a semi blonde in three inch heels. I recently had a person tell me that he wasn’t “allowed to communicate with me” because he maintained “boundaries” with women that didn’t include things like Twitter or Facebook, having lunch, stuff like that. It’s all well and good that his moral compass is such that he’s obviously trying to honor his wife – something I am literally no threat to – it’s bad that I’m stuck in a male dominated industry where if you’re female you’re treated like a pariah by the very people who are supposed to think that you’re a colleague. I’d been dumb enough to believe that this was a person who actually saw me as an individual soul, a person/couple my husband and I could develop community with; someone secure enough in himself that my gender didn’t threaten his ego. What might be “every man’s battle” doesn’t include me, nor does it interest me: it’s not my battle. Treating people with dignity includes not projecting your own unwanted advances, fantasies, emotions and miscalculations on to a coworker or friend, allowing them to communicate with honor as themselves, and being willing to openly say “hey, you’re stepping out of my comfort zone” if others do that with you. Remember that your confidence is attractive to others: stay in that shallow end with contact or you’ll find yourself dumbfounded by Mother Nature. I’m a human first, a lady always. As such, I expect that I get to be part of the human race just like the boys do, and to be able to execute my own job in ministry with my clothes on, just like the boys do as well. Confidence will also bring out the people who want you to fail. Have problems with rumors, innuendo, and office gossip? Same song, second verse. Treat others with dignity by saying, “You know, that doesn’t even merit a response. Have respect for yourself, for the person that you’re attempting to harm and for me. Don’t gossip.”
- Look At The Glass as …. You know, it doesn’t matter if you see the glass half full or half empty. What matters is that you take time to notice what it is full of. A glass half full of toxic waste is still bad. A glass half empty of diamonds may still make your day. It’s the journey of life, not the quantity of stuff that changes the world that you live in. Have that attitude that expects something good to happen and you’re most likely going to get what you are focusing on. Conversely, if you’re expecting to fail, talking about failure – I can predict your outcome. Even if you succeed, you’re a failure. Encourage other people by looking past the surface and really complimenting them on the effort, the value or the impact of their participation in work or life. Validate who they are in your world, and increase their joy at being noticed. Everyone likes to know that someone cares about their work, their contribution.
- 5. Put Your Best Foot Forward. Now that you’re affirmed from the inside out, you have a positive, productive mindset, you’re ready to treat people with dignity and respect – step out into your day looking good, feeling whole. All those life rules apply: clean water, whole foods, adequate sleep and moderate exercise make for a happier you. In addition to that, you’re best foot is unique to you. For me, it’s going through my ritual of looking and smelling great, no matter if I am going to the grocery store or to class. I love to feel confident, and to give that confidence to others in how I act, to lend vibrancy to a room by being a catalyst for the positive, productive energy.
Being the person that drives positive change in your own life is a great thing; helping others exceed their goals, to feel great about themselves is a worthwhile goal as well. Today, try these simple steps to increase your own life satisfaction.